I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
