If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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