I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
