what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
