Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
