In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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