he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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