It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
