who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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