did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
