got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
