dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize