he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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