That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
