dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
