Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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