But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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