So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
