Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
