what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize