He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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