She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
