i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So much rum. So many feels.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
