I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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