.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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