i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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