Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are we in a gay sports bar?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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