Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
