I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
