I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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