Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
