RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
