i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
