It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
