my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
