Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
