i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
