whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
