we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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