he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
