i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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