I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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