If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
