And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
