just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
