roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one