a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag