There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
