happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
as a side note pls kill me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
