My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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