im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
