Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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