It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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