Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize