Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize