happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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