Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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