I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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