i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
