I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
