The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
