Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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