You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think i have two assholes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
