If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
